I was brought up old-fashioned but me muther is not forcing me to do this.
I just wanted to say thank you for having me, Ted and Laska.
It was very kind of you to let me into your home and show me round your garden.
Laska thank you for letting me borrow your bed.
I had a really good time (even though your muther tried that nasty snogging thing that my muther does). What is it with muthers? Me farder never does it and your Dad just stroked and patted me in a blokey way. That's fine.
I was very tired yesterday after all the excitement and took to me bed but I'm back to normal today - which isn't much different from takin' to me bed. We're all goin' shoppin' in a minute. I like that. I sit in the back of the car and bark at stuff. I may well pop into the Falcon for a packet of crisps and a guinness. The humans are buying dog food. This is good.
Thanks again both for makin' me so welcome on your territory.
I enjoyed huntin' for the cat.
Hope you can come round here to play soon?
I have squirrels.
Love Ralph
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4 comments:
Yo Ralph! Me mum is a bit of a cloth head 'cos she didn't show me your thank you letter till now. Lask wanted to see if you had answered her letter as she is missing you but while I was leafing through your correspondance in a dilatory fashion (I think that is rather a litrerary frase, Ralph, it's 'cos I read a lot...)we found your lovely letter. You must think us rude not to notice it. We are not very good at blogs, you see.
Yes, we would love to come and look at your squirrels.
Aksherlly, I am rather hungry at the moment as mum has been wasting time outside this afternoon when she could have been playing with me an' I got bored and went to have a rest and that is very tiring so it makes me feel starving. Am off to see if there is any pasta left from supper as I like that.
Hope you are OK Ralph, and not too cold with no central heating to come home to. You might have been better off to have stayed with your cousin Boris an' all till they got the place warmed up, 'specially in that cold weather we had. If you need that phone number, I can always look it up for you, Dog's Trust wasn't it?
Stump wags from Ted
Ah, Herro Ralph, I hope dis email finds you well.
It me, Max! Fanks for showing me awound your office and for da amazing bonfire!! I like your house velly much and weally liked the cuddly toys, although your humans seemed to like them so much dat I couldn't eat dem. Never mind. Master say I velly stealthy and move like ninja when I turned off light and tried to steal da fox off da shelf, a little Lhasa Apso humour my Fwend!
Master and Mistress had gweat night and velly thankful for food and dwink and I velly much liked my biscuits too. I hope to see you again soon Ralph my fwend and maybe Master let me off lead in Garden next time so we can play chase, I velly speedy so twy and keep up!!
Good Karma, Free Tibet!
Max
Hey Max
Good to hear from you little chap.
I understand it's yer Master's birthday today. Tell him Ralph says Happy Birthday Uncle Rob!
I must remind me muther to email you some phot o'graphs of the wake. I felt sorry for you, Max, stuck on your lead. I'm sure you wouldn't have escaped. You must come round in the light so your muther (they're always paranoid aren't they) will be able to know where you are. We'll have some adventures and I will show you me office and where the rats live and where the squirrels go up the trees.
See you soon, mate
Ralph
Good Karma to you too
Free Bromyard
Well, Ralphie old chap, thank you for your card which is proudly displayed on the mantelpiece. I am afraid Christmas sort of got missed out up here. Life has been extremely full of late, though not particularly varied. Lots of driving all over the bloody place to perform for the populace. I was not too happy with Mr Bradburn for sending me to Bury St Edmunds on friday. However it is now over for a few days and I can start composing in earnest and trying to get over the flu I have gained from driving all over the bloody place. There seems to be an impending battle for ownership of me between the band and Mr Lever. These humans seem to want to own people as well as dogs. It's not as if they give me chocolate drops. Fortunately I do not have to perform for the band for a few months now. It is a terrible thing to sit near them and feel an overpowering sense of impending grudge. You don't know what it's going to be about, but you know there's going to be one. That Mr Donnelly's much easier to work with; if you should ever want a second dogfather, I think he's the man. You will also be excited to know I've joined a pwyllgor. It's a Welsh word; it means a group of people who are organising a festival and don't know how to do it. Sometimes I tell them, in Welsh (we only speak Welsh in the pwyllgor) and after a two month gap they take notice. Unfortunately something else has become urgent by this time and I have to wait another two months for the next moment of progress. However, it may all be well in the end. I have spoken with Guinevere Tudor and she is very keen to publicise the event, which is called Tegeingl. In the meantime, I will be concentrating on writing songs only in Welsh. That way I will be no use either to the band or to Mr Lever. I will be free and roam the land at will with my bus pass. And in days to come, people will look at me in awe and think 'He knows about the 26 different verse forms of Welsh classical poetry. Nodolig Llawen to you, old chap, and to those two human persons.
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