Thank You Note

I was brought up old-fashioned but me muther is not forcing me to do this.
I just wanted to say thank you for having me, Ted and Laska.
It was very kind of you to let me into your home and show me round your garden.
Laska thank you for letting me borrow your bed.
I had a really good time (even though your muther tried that nasty snogging thing that my muther does). What is it with muthers? Me farder never does it and your Dad just stroked and patted me in a blokey way. That's fine.
I was very tired yesterday after all the excitement and took to me bed but I'm back to normal today - which isn't much different from takin' to me bed. We're all goin' shoppin' in a minute. I like that. I sit in the back of the car and bark at stuff. I may well pop into the Falcon for a packet of crisps and a guinness. The humans are buying dog food. This is good.

Thanks again both for makin' me so welcome on your territory.
I enjoyed huntin' for the cat.
Hope you can come round here to play soon?
I have squirrels.

Love Ralph

Ears, Eyes and Noses

You see - I am a hound. I have a very good nose. I can smell everything. People marvel at my nose. I do tricks finding things with my nose and visitors are most impressed. I can hear stuff too. I can be at the bottom of the garden but can hear when me Dad's toast pops up. No point in doin' anything when it goes IN. I can hear the farm dogs at the end of the lane and we have late night chats. Now then - me eyes. Well I don't use 'em really and me parents get frustrated when they shout "Squirrel" and I go off and smell exactly where it's been by which time it's gone up a tree. I know which tree it's gone up because I can smell it. ANYWAY we had an incident in the garden yesterday. I was almost totally inside the Pampus Grass thingy going mad. Me parents thought there might be a shrew in der and were encouragin' me. WELL apparently (coz I missed it) a HUGE rat ran out and ran over the garden and into the field. Me Muther shrieked and me Farder said some words I didn't understand. By the time it reached the field I was still in the Pampus grass - BUT - now this is what I don't understand, mates. Me Muther was trying to get me back inside the house. She was saying a rat might hurt me. I didn't want to go in the house - I was trackin' it. Smelt exactly where it had been and did me hound noises (impresses the locals). But I'm confused. Can anyone help me out here? Are rats dangerous? Why was me Muther shrieking? What's it like usin' yer eyes instead? If you use yer eyes does that mean your nose is rubbish?

To Be Or Not To Be? - What is der question?

Ralph

Ralph O'James-Acock

Born:- Ah well. Not too sure. I was adopted on 19 February 05 and I was either 2 or 3 years old then. Me birthday (according to me humans) is now 19 February so I am now either 5 or 6.
Favourite Food:- TOAST (with marmite or marmalade); POTATOES (but only with butter and tarragon); CHOCOLATE (but I'm not allowed); GRASS (NO! the stuff from the garden!!); DOG TREATS (top shelf in the kitchen); DAMSONS AND STRAWBERRIES (but only ones I steal from the garden); CRISPS (Walkers plain are the best; and STUFF I CAN LICK OUT FROM OVEN DISHES (I'm not allowed to lick plates)
Favourite Drink:- WATER (but my favourite is in my garden bowl that has rainwater in it
Favourite Places:- My bed, my own sofa, my padded thing under the radiator in the lounge, Bromyard Downs (for some social intercourse), the garden (if I want to feel important), The Falcon Hotel in Bromyard (because they're dog friendly, have an open fire and carpet, and always say hello to me and ignore me parents). I also like the back of the car. I prefer me Muther's coz she's got air conditioning and it's an estate car and the whole of the back is mine and I can laugh at dogs who have that tiny cramped bit at the very back of the car.
Dislikes:- Having a bath and being forced out in the rain for a pee.
Favourite People:- Me Muther coz she's the pack leader and feeds me and me Dad coz he takes me for long walks.
Least Favourite People:- The Vet and the dustbin men.
Things I Have Learned Since Being Rescued/Adopted:- The washing machine, the vacuum cleaner and fireworks will not kill you. During thunder and lightening storms, the humans need me upstairs in their bedroom to give them moral support. The humans don't like me peeing in the house or on other people's furniture.
I still miss the freedom of the streets sometimes, but guess there are advantages of being adopted.
Finally, I was right about the vet and the dustbin men - they are NOT to be trusted.

Ralph

Hello

Top o' the morning..........
I'm Ralph. I'm from Ireland.
I speak with an Irish accent (Southern Ireland).
I was rescued by me parents and wanted me own o'blog.
So here it is.
Watch this space.

Ralph